Be Happy For This Moment

Okay, so I'm an idiot.  My formatting was wrong on the stupid LJ thing.  Mah badz.  Here's the rest of Tangled Web.  Posted in several different posts.

( Chapter 4 )

IKR?  Enjoy folks!

( Chapter 18 )

So I've tried it all so far on this new menu bar thing. I have no idea how to post a cut again XD If anyone's figured it out or wants to tell me I'm blind or something, please let me know how to post a fricking cut so I can update Tangled Web on the LJ site.

For those of you patiently waiting for the next chapter, all EIGHT chapters are posted at FF.net. I hate to redirect everyone to a new site, but until I figure out LJ's new secret, that's what I'll have to do.

Sorry for the inconvenience folks!

The story can be found here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/~elisedavidson

Okay, so I just wrote the most beautiful thing ever, I think, in Chapter 8 of Tangled Web. Chapter 6 will be up on Wed, then 7 on Sun and 8 on next Wed. I don't know how long this thing is gonna go on, honestly XD As long as the writing keeps coming, I suppose.

Was just excited ^_^

Okay, now where the hell did the cuts go? I haven't been able to post anything new on LJ for Tangled web :(

If anyone's curious as to why I haven't posted Chapter 3 yet on LJ though I have posted it on FF.net under Elise Davidson, it's because LJ's changed up their stupid formatting again, and I haven't the foggiest how to post now XD

Anyway, the real crux of this post is this:

OMFG I GOTS A CAR I CAN GO PLACES I HAS CARZ NOWZ!

That is all.

-Elise

Title: Their Tangled Web
Author: Elise Davidson
Rating: M
Pairings: JD/Cox, Jorliot
Summary: Jordan and Elliot start something they can't end. Perry knows it's over, JD is clueless and angry.

Title: Their Tangled Web
Rating: M
Pairings: Eventual JD/Cox, Jordan/Elliot
Warnings: Slash, Femmeslash, Angst
Author's Notes:  Been a while, folks.  Sorry!  I can't swear that I'm updating any of my other stories, but this one's been burning a hole in my head since my Season 8 marathon.  Enjoy, folks.  Don't know where this is headed or where it's going.

( Their Tangled Web )

So I feel like I've been avoiding people for quite a while now, and I owe it to those who care about me to update my journal and let everyone know what's going on.

Since the last time I actually spoke to anyone, a lot of things have happened.

Let's start with the biggest.  Mr. Elise and I had it out, and I was quite sure I'd be living elsewhere at the moment.  However, he was the one who got to forget the next day that we'd had that fight at all.

A week later, I was back in the ER to be stitched up.  No use beating about the bush; I'm a very open person.  I don't expect sympathy or pity or any of the like; I've been battling a self-injury problem for quite some time.

I brow-beat the doctor into releasing me back into Mr. Elise's care with a firm promise and upfront conversation that I'm not stupid; I wouldn't be back.

Two nights later, I decided it was for the best to voluntarily committ myself to the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, where I spent four days.

Since then, I've been doing far better than I ever could have imagined.  I also managed to work my class schedule so that I'm not working any longer with a particular manager who stresses me out.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and take daily meds for them.  I'm lucky in that my meds are all on the generics, and are safe to take with OTC sleep aids, which my new psychiatrist recommends, as I have quite a bit of trouble sleeping at night.  I'm now in monthly therapy, with the option to up my visits with the therapist, and there are plenty of financial options open in order to pay for them.

I am still living with Mr. Elise, but I'm not willing to break up our four-and-half year relationship because of things we could work through.  Things are far better now that he's quit drinking and I'm on medications.  Go figure.  :P

Anyway, I just wanted to post this and also apologize for not updating sooner, as I know friends are worried.  I owe you guys much more than that.

So that's the update.  Very honest and upfront.  I'm doing much better now, and I'm getting ready to go back to school again in the next couple of days.  I spend a lot of time at home studying as it is (I took the summer off) and if all goes well, I'll have two degrees this Christmas.  I backed off my classload this semester, since I know how stressful the season can be at work.

Thanks to all who have listened to my incessant bitching and whining.  I love you guys.  :)  For now, I've been taking a forced sabbatical from the internet in general.  I'm trying to clear my head a little more and also pay more attention to my studies.  I'm starting chemistry stuff this fall, and next semester's going to be a veritable biatch of science and math.  This semester is all about english and education (Brit Lit I, Foundations in Edu, Chem I and Stats/Analysis) and next semester is planned out to be Chem II, Bio II, Anat II and Pre-Cal, provided that's my next step math-wise.

Thanks again to my besties, Charlotte and Jay.  You guys have listened, cared and put up with me.  I love you guys, and I hope you're doing well.  :)

~Elise~

I can't believe I'm actually using this thing as a real journal, lol.  I never set out to do that; I mostly made this account to post fics and what not.

But anyhow.  Journals are always so self-involved, I guess.  I hate being selfish if I can help it, but that's what journals are for, ne?

So.  New stuff.  I got new strings for my electric (which I pwned from sis while in FL...it was missing the B string, guh!) but I changed 'em in today...guh, I'm a'FLUFF with happies right now!  I forgot how much BETTER I sound on the electric than the acoustic XD  Nothing will ever replace my good old acoustic for travel or convenience, but still....ACKERS!

I've been playing new tunes, old tunes, tunes I didn't know that well, tunes I've known forever...jeez, I think I forgot just how much I lurve music XD  But I'll probably be making a vid and posting it on youtube or myspace.  Be forewarned; I'm a completely mediocre guitar player/singer XD  I do it for fun and as a hobby, which means I don't have to give a rat's poop-chute about how I sound :D

In other related music-news, I managed to snag the piano/vocal songbook for WICKED!  OMGZ...I know, I'm SO out of date when it comes to music and stuff...but it's new stuff to me :D  I just got the musical on CD this past April (courtesy of the mommy, of course) and while the music is...different, it's very remiscent of Jekyll and Hyde or even Les Miserables.  Very creative rhyming, very creative lyrics.  I wish it'd had a tad more Elphaba though :D (Halloween this year...I'm totally scoring a frumpy black dress and TONS of green make-up...I think I'm in love).

Anyhow, got the songbook for Wicked.  Been having LOADS of fun with that.  Guh, "No Good Deed" has like...5 flats.  "One Short Day" has like...5 sharps XD

And then "For Good" and "Popular" are both in the natural key of C XD  Was the composer on crack or did he just want to have fun with key signatures?

So, now adding to my long list of musicals I can play on piano.  Between Broadway musicals and movie music, I can keep anyone hyped up for hours I think XD  I'm still working on the ultra-neat Narnia theme that sounds very much like some of the Shrek music (it should; I can't quite remember if it's the same composer or if they're just brothers...but either way, it's related).  Which is kind of like how I learned the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.  The guy who wrote it was a protege of Hans Zimmer, who wrote the music to Gladiator.

Seriously; download "Barbarian Horde" and "He's a Pirate".  Almost identical in some places but for a couple of well-placed chords :P

Guh, my band geek is showing XD

Anyhow, yay electric guitar!  :D  I forgot how good I sound on it vs. the acoustic...even though both have light-gague strings (I know; I'm a wuss :P)

Now, all I have to do is get a real piano in the house and I'll be set for lifers... ;)  If my floor would support one and if I had the room XD

When I get to uni, I need to see if ONLY music majors are allowed in the sound-proof practice rooms...WCU has some awesome-pawsome practice rooms.

Anyhow, off to play more music!  Later, gators!

-Katy-

Yes, that's very professional of me :P  Thingie.

Anyhow, had a concept fic idea...dunno where I'll go with it or even if I'll do it.  But I was listening to some new music that I downloaded while in FL with my family (My mom's got TONS of CD's that she let me bootleg into iTunes and Dory's got tons of CD's that she let me do the same with...lol, they understand my unique music whoreness).

Dammit, it all started with the lyric "Dance, fucker dance".

The song itself made me think immediately of Jordan and JD, which Quaxo will totally get XD  How they can both be so manipulative without realizing it and how once the damage is done, they're back in the crowd.  Holy shnikes, this could SO be a bad/wrong JD/Jordan ficlet...guh, I don't know.

Anyway, here's the lyrics...if I can get the cut to work.

( You're Gonna Go Far, Kid )
So that's it.  I was initially thinking a Jordan or Elliot centric-fic that centered on Elliot learning some manipulative, bitchy ways (ala Their Story), and how Elliot eventually turns on Jordan somehow by seducing Dr. Cox...hrm, still not a bad idea :P

Though the idea just came to me while typing this up of how to work it as a JD/Jordan fic wherein Jordan is still the manipulative processor who doesn't stand so idly to the side as JD gets some kind of mancrush on Dr. Cox...leads to Jordan stepping up her ways by initiating a threesome with Elliot and Dr. Cox just to let JD know where she stands as Queen Bee...

JD would have to do some fancy footwork to get back at her for that, but I'm sure it could be done somehow...what got me is that at the beginning of the song, it's talking about someone who is manipulative and bitchy, and the singer knows that.  Even more so near the end when the singer is suddenly the one on the receiving end of that behavior.

I don't know; definitely something to think about.  Like I said, don't know.  But it's definitely got potential (and I have a little time to pay attention since I'm out for summer break).

Might even log to msn at some point because Quaxo always gives me the bestest ideas ever XD  Even if I'm less than coherent while in awe of her twisting skills.  Anyhow, catch y'all soon!

Later, gators ^_^

All the nasty rantsy goodies behind the cut so that people don't have to be bogged down.

I'll try the happy sandwich though, where I start off with good news and then sandwich the bad news in under a cut and end with good news.

So, good news is, I've been doing much better since my episode over Christmas.  I won't be specific about any kind of help I'm getting, mostly because I'm not.  With the boyfriend out of work and a vacation coming up, I can't afford to put the money anywhere else than the bank box.

But the good news from that is yes, I'm taking a week to see my family.  I really miss them and they usually put me in a fairly good mood for a good while.  They're also excited to see Mr. Elise and I, though the trip is causing him quite a bit of headache (more in the cut).  I'm really looking forward to it ^_^  More good stuff after the cut!

( Nasties, precious, nasties... )

Thus ends the rant to end all rants.  I feel a little better :)  So, to end the goodnews-badnews-goodnews sandwich, I made the Dean's List last semester.  I'm lurving Anatomy and Physiology...I suspect my grade would be better if I hadn't flaked out when it came to the first several homework assignments.  But I'm doing a lot better now that I've got my head out of my ass.  I've also been sober for several days.

It's kinda nice waking up and realizing I DON'T feel like crap.  And this semester, I've only got the four classes, so I'm not feeling as stressed as I did nearing the finals last semester, which is so much better.  I've also been cut free for nearly three and a half months.  I just passed my axial skeleton practical with FLYING colors, and I'll probably do well on the appendicular skeleton.

Fun stuff.  Later, bye!

~Elise~

I've made this particular entry public so that any and all readers can see why I haven't been around.  My friends will also see.

So I started school, was extremely happy about it.  School ended, was on the Christmas break.  I don't know how, why or when...but things suddenly came to a big, roaring head and I found myself sitting against my car, waiting for the EMT's to arrive to take me to the hospital because I gashed out a deep cut against my wrist in an attempt to kill myself.

I've been absent because Mr. Elise has been attempting to deal with this, and my "best friend" has had things of her own to deal with, as do all of my closest friends.  So it comes back down to Mr. Elise, who goes from wanting to help to wanting to pretend it never happened at all, to me, who feels like nothing was ever really solved in the first place.

I'm sorry for my absence; I know this doesn't quite excuse it.  I've already discussed handing off the Split Conference Arc to a very amazing writer, and I'm debating on Looking Glass.  Insomnia's Aftermath and Heroine can wait; both are "in the moment" fics, which I'm sure I'm capable of dealing with.

Either way, I wanted to apologize to the readers for my extraordinarily long absence and my inexecusable breakdowns.  I apologize profoundly, as is there is no excuse for the stupidity I've been stricken with.

Thanks to all; happy readings!